It may still be the dog days of summer, but if you are a divorced parent, you are probably already thinking about the kids going back to school. For some families, fall is when things get back to normal after a challenging summer schedule. But what if you are concerned that what has been “normal” may not be working for your family anymore? Here are a few ways to make sure your parenting plan is keeping pace with your kids.

Parenting Plan Tune Up

Even if you spent a lot of time crafting a parenting plan a few years ago, there is a good chance that it will need to be tweaked occasionally. The younger your kids were when you and their other parent first separated, the sooner this is likely to come up. Fortunately, parents who did spend a lot of time on their parenting plan are likely to be able to work together to make necessary changes. A thorough plan should also state that you will go to mediation if you are not able to reach an agreement about what changes are appropriate. If you find yourselves in gridlock, don’t wait until the start of school is imminent. Call your mediator, or choose a new mediator together if necessary, and schedule a session as soon as possible.

Parenting Tweaks and Tools 

Sometimes parents are just concerned that things have gotten lax over the summer. Perhaps your co-parent has become sloppy with drop-off and pick-up times. Maybe they have taken liberties with their own vacation schedule, making changes at the last minute. For other parents, there are real roadblocks ahead that could prevent a formerly well-run plan from moving forward smoothly. Elementary schools may start later or earlier than middle school or high school. The school year might start and end at a different time. Vacation periods may differ as well. Sometimes this means that a parent may no longer be available for the same tasks. If you have to be at your desk at 8:30 a.m., for example, a school start time of 8:00 might have worked just fine, but a start time of 8:30 or 9:00 will not.

Cost-sharing can also look very different over time. You may have been fine with taking your kids shopping for back-to-school clothes when they were little. As they have grown and prices have ballooned, however, those backpacks, calculators and designer sneakers might now be unmanageably expensive. Or maybe it is less the prices than the time involved. Prehaps you have always done all the shopping, but now you have a more time-consuming job and need help.

A pretty universal issue is that as children grow, schedules get more complicated. Kids often change or increase extracurricular activities. High school kids might even want to get an after-school job. An online parenting calendar with an app like Our Family Wizard or Cozi can be a valuable tool to keep everyone on the same page. As long as your kids are old enough to read, they can use this too.

Serious Disagreements

More serious issues include disagreements about whether a child should attend public school or private school. Another common area of friction is the ability to pay for tuition or major expenses. If you are arguing about something serious like this, get help as soon as you find yourselves at an impasse. Mediation is a good first step and will generally be the most time and cost efficient way to solve problems. If you cannot reach an agreement out of court, you can file a petition in court. The expense of going to court, however, is generally justified only when large amounts of money are at stake or the differences between educational settings are extreme. Before taking this kind of step, consider getting expert help. Consulting a child development expert together may help you reach an agreement. Experts can alao attend mediation sessions if necessary.

Courts consider a child’s best interests when making educational decisions. They also evaluate each parent’s ability to pay. A judge will weigh the benefits of a more expensive option against the quality of less expensive alternatives. Important factors include the child’s prior educational setting and any special needs or special talents a child might have. A court may find that a private school is the best option or might decide that the child’s needs can be met by something like private tutoring or supplementary assistive technology. A court that finds that the parents, between them, have the ability to pay for the private school or supplemental assistance will usually order them to split expenses according to their respective incomes.

If you would like to discuss using mediation to create or modify your parenting plan, contact one of our trained mediators today.